“What’s wrong with me?” This is a question that you might be asking silently when no one sees.
You may have a good job, a loving family, or a life that looks “fine” from the outside. But inside? Your thoughts may feel loud, you can’t predict your emotions, and your reactions are confusing even to yourself.
You are not broken if you have been crying in the shower, snapping at people you care about, or feeling completely drained without knowing why. That is human!
As an IFS therapist, I explore your overwhelming emotions not as your flaws but as signals. These are messages from parts of you that have been working too hard for too long.
Why Do You Feel Like You’re Drowning When Everything Looks Fine
You may be high-achieving, reliable, and always “put together.” People might even come to you for advice and assume you can handle everything. But perfectionism and high-functioning anxiety can often hide deep emotional fatigue.
These patterns develop for many reasons. They could be early expectations, family dynamics, people-pleasing, or the impacts of your childhood trauma.
When you learned early in life that being “good,” quiet, responsible, or helpful kept you safe, those roles often become automatic in adulthood.
But here’s the truth:
The version of you that is holding everything together is exhausting.
This exhaustion usually shows up as:
- Feeling “numb” but still functioning.
- Tears you can’t explain.
- Carrying tension in your chest or stomach.
- Feeling responsible for everyone else.
- Constantly anticipating what could go wrong.
- Never being able to fully relax.
Are you feeling all this? It means that your nervous system is overwhelmed and asking for help.
What Is Wrong With Me? When the Question Comes From Deep Emotional Pain
This question can also come from a place of shame or confusion, not from actual “brokenness.”
You may sound like:
- “Why do I get so emotional?”
- “Why can’t I just calm down?”
- “Why do I react so strongly to small things?”
In therapy, I help you understand that nothing is “wrong” with you at all. You might simply be carrying too many unspoken burdens. Or maybe you are responding to something old.
Below is a helpful comparison that you may find grounding:
| What You Think Is Happening | What May Actually Be Going On |
| “I’m overreacting.” | Your nervous system is responding to past wounds or chronic stress. |
| “I’m too sensitive.” | You developed sensitivity as a survival skill. |
| “I shouldn’t feel this way.” | Your feelings are a valid response to something overpowering. |
| “I’m weak.” | You’ve been strong for far too long without support. |
When you ask, “What is wrong with me?” you are often asking why you are struggling alone. Therapy helps you understand the roots of those emotions as signals from hurting parts of you.
If You Are Angry All the Time, You Might Actually Be Overwhelmed
Emotional strain shows up differently for men. Culturally, men are taught to “be strong,” control emotion, or hold everything in until the pressure builds. So instead of sadness, fear, or stress, you might experience:
- Quick temper.
- Feeling blank or shut down.
- Escaping into screens or video games.
- Avoiding difficult conversations.
- Feeling misunderstood, even when you don’t know what to say.
Anger is not the problem. It’s the cover.
What’s underneath is usually:
- Pressure to perform.
- A belief that you are not allowed to be vulnerable.
When a man asks what is wrong with him, he is actually saying, “I don’t know how to express pain in a way that feels safe.”
In my therapy sessions, I create that safety for you.
Learning a New Question: “What Do I Need?”
Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” I help you find a softer and more accurate question:
“What do I need right now?”
- Maybe you need rest.
- Maybe you need support.
- Maybe you need to process trauma that has been sitting in your body for years.
- Maybe you need boundaries.
- Maybe you need relief from expectations you never agreed to carry.
There is nothing “wrong” if you need relief.
Conclusion
Are you struggling quietly within yourself? Your emotions, reactions, and exhaustion completely make sense! Nothing about you is too much or beyond help.
I work with clients dealing with complex trauma, including those who are living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). My therapy sessions offer a safe and compassionate place where you can explore what your mind and body have been trying to communicate. You don’t have to keep managing everything by yourself.
If you’re ready to understand your feelings, reconnect with your sense of self, and finally feel supported, reach out today to schedule a session with Arlene Brewster, PhD for therapy in Maine.
FAQs
1. Is it normal to feel emotional overload even when my life looks good?
Yes. Many people who have high-functioning anxiety or perfectionism experience deep emotional exhaustion.
2. How do I know if I’m depressed or just burned out?
You can go to a therapist to understand whether your symptoms are rooted in emotional overwhelm or depression.
3. Why do I cry when I’m alone but seem fine around others?
You may be constantly holding yourself together in public. This leaves your emotional system to release feelings only when you are safe.
4. Can men experience emotional overwhelm differently?
Yes. Many men express their flood of emotions through anger, withdrawal, or shutting down.
5. How can therapy help with the question “What is wrong with me?”
Therapy looks deep into the emotional, physical, and historical reasons for your overpowering feelings so you can understand yourself with compassion, not judgment.
